Summer VS Self-Image

By: Clove Morgan

Summer is the best season of the year–at least for me. Nothing quite beats the feeling of the sun on my skin, ice cream melting on my tongue, or the greenery in all its lush glory. Sure, snow, crunching leaves, and spring buds are great, but the warm breeze carries a free-feeling energy through the air. Then again, the first time those degrees begin to tick up on the thermostat fills some people with dread.

If you live in the south like me, or anywhere that the temperature reaches sweltering-and-sweaty levels, you can’t exactly leave the house in jeans and long sleeves. It’s simply impractical and can put you at a lot of risk for health problems from overheating. The solution: less fabric. If you don’t have as much coverage, you can’t overheat. Easier said than done, though.

When I was younger, I loved summer but loathed the looming clothing crisis that accompanied it. I wasn’t comfortable showing myself off. For my entire childhood and the majority of my teen years, I was mid-size or plus-size, often fluctuating between the two when all of my peers seemed to remain lithe or thin through their adolescence. Going to the pool or beach was something straight out of Fear Factor, and don’t even get me started on the Target dressing rooms. There are few things worse in this world than going back with twenty swimsuits and leaving empty-handed (I blame tankinis for the way I turned out).

It took me seventeen years and three years of practice since then to loosen the grip that social expectations had on me. My thought was this: my body isn’t good enough to be seen, so it does not deserve to feel comfortable. The idea that our bodies need to fit a specific size or shape to be treated with respect is so common yet so isolating. I felt that I was the only person with this mindset, and it damaged my relationship with my body in ways that I’m still trying to heal. At some point, a line needs to be drawn when we stop being hyper-concerned with pre-conceived ideologies and instead treat ourselves with the respect and care we deserve.

One of the most helpful things I heard in regard to the way I thought of my looks went something like this: Would you think or say those things about your best friend? That question kickstarted my road to self-acceptance. Instead of treating your body like it’s working against you, change the pattern and begin thanking it for doing so much for you. When you feel the water surrounding you in the pool or at the beach, it is your body that gifted you that sensation. It is a way of thinking that lies somewhere between body neutrality–believing that your body is a vessel made for taking care of you rather than looking a certain way–and body positivity, both of which can work together to shift one’s mindset.

Another practical approach is to build a closet you’re comfortable with. Again, the goal is to avoid overheating and the accompanying health risks, so avoid heavy pieces. However, don’t give in to the pressure to buy into trends–wear what you feel happiest in. Our bodies do so much for us every day, and it is only fair that we ensure they’re comfortable. I didn’t buy my first bikini until I was seventeen, and it was high-waisted with little ruffled sleeves. Some might argue that it’s too high coverage to be considered a bikini, but to me, it counted because I felt beautiful and safe wearing it. Just the right amount out of my comfort zone. Self-love is a journey, and it’s not linear, but once the mindset changes, then you are capable of taking substantial action toward a better-feeling version of yourself.

Find support systems that boost your confidence. If you have friends that tear you down instead of building you up, maybe it’s time to reevaluate those friendships. You shouldn’t be nervous about nourishing your body through clothing or food. There are plenty of safe spaces online within communities intended to educate others on body positivity/neutrality. For me, a huge step was following and engaging in content with those that resembled me or possessed the mindset that I was striving to emulate.

It is never too late to start treating yourself with kindness. By actively working toward healing your negative thought patterns about yourself, you can experience the sweet indulgence of freedom that summer is all about. Of course, there is heavy lifting to be done and internalized toxicity to recover from. I’ve dealt with it firsthand in ways that I continue to struggle with today; it isn’t a perfect science. But summer is meant to be healing, so make 2023 the summer for yourself.