By Clove Morgan
Who am I?
It’s a big question to try to answer alone. Here, I’ll help clear the fog as to the concept of identity and guide you through the process of self-discovery. As we make the transition from childhood to our teenage years, then into adulthood, we assume the different roles expected of us at any given moment. It isn’t uncommon to get lost on the path of finding yourself.
The truth of identity isn’t concrete and cannot be summed up in a matter of a few words. You must first understand that identity is about adaptation, change, and, most importantly, acceptance.
Let’s begin by defining the word. The Merriam-Webster dictionary describes identity as “the distinguishing character or personality of an individual.” Simply knowing what the word means doesn’t necessarily help us in discovering who we are. Though, it gives us a hint as to what to look for. On a personal level, we are a collection of various elements that contribute to the whole of us. We are a combination of ever-changing qualities and traits, facets, and abilities.
To dig deeper into who you are, you must first accept that there will never be a sure answer. We are not treasure maps where X marks the spot. We are human. We have minds and hearts that grow with time and experience. Ask yourself what makes you, well, you. What do you value the most? How have those values changed over time? These may seem like rhetorical questions, but the responses will serve as a guide in determining your identity in the present. After all, the current version of you is the most important.
As we age, there is a pressure to be sure and confident in ourselves, no matter the circumstances or challenges thrown at us. We are on the precipice of self-discovery at all times. Be ready to change, go into the world with an open mind. Find like-minded individuals and kindred spirits that will heal you, then seek out opposing forces and encourage growth in yourself. Your persona isn’t set in stone at any given moment; think of it like a tree that grows, spreads its roots, and branches out.
I grew up in a small town where I didn’t feel like I could be my true self. As a result, I ended up becoming who everyone else wanted me to be. I had to mold myself to suit my environment even when I knew I wasn’t being me. Now that I’ve moved away and am free to explore a whole new world, I am experiencing the same craving for a sense of identity. I have changed completely, from things as surface level as my hair and clothes to things as deep as beliefs and aspirations. I am becoming the most authentic version of myself, which is the whole point of recognizing your identity.
People are not meant to be stagnant. As we come into ourselves, it’s hard to keep in mind that we can be fluid in our pursuits. Everything, from careers to hobbies to everyday tasks, will change on a whim. Of course, as you go through these shifts, there are going to be outer-world pressures on you to be someone you’re not or to behave a certain way to please those around you.
These expectations are overwhelming. To visualize them would be to picture the Mount Everest of crisis in front of you. Don’t worry; you’re not alone. Everyone feels the immense weight on their shoulders to be everything all at once. The secret is this: only you can decide who you are; no one can do it for you.
Discovering your own identity is a daunting task, but there are mentors out there for you. There are individuals to look up to, powerful in their own methods of change. Big and small. The best piece of advice I can offer is to embrace the journey and the people you meet along the way.
Growing up, I always had a vague idea of who I wanted to be. I thought I needed to have everything figured out and please those around me. Undoubtedly, you have had the same experience of idealizing a future version of yourself that you’re striving toward. This constant hope and hunger for more is a great quality to have. Ambition and curiosity work hand in hand toward a bright future. However, it is essential not to become fixated on the imagined illusion of who you dream to be. Take your time, slow down, and embrace who you are and the progress you have already made. As I’ve mentioned, the present version of you is the most important. Focus on the now.
The breakdown of identity would be an endless cycle; once you find one thing you will find three more. Don’t stress; the process of finding out who you are can be turned into a fun experience! Start small, don’t try to conquer something that even the world’s greatest minds have a hard time grasping. It can be as simple as asking yourself what you like. What’s your favorite song? Favorite color? Movie? Food? All of these silly questions have the same follow-up: why?
This talk of identity and how to begin may be confusing, your mind gets twisted up as one thought leads to the next, but there are guides to help you along the journey. You start with you and your relationship with yourself. Eliminate thinking of who others want you to be or even the standards you set for yourself. When it comes to identity, start with the now and then begin on your expedition into who you are.
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